Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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