Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
