there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
