is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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