I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
