i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
