She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
