Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
