Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
