Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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