Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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