I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
