my sisters under your porch take her home
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
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