@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize