I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
