porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
