On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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