If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Randomize