Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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