Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize