bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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