It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
