Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
