Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
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