I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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