is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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