I got chris browned last night
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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