I think scott just propositioned me for sex
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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