The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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