ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize