I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Small penises have feelings too.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize