her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
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