i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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