is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
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