The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
