he wants to bone in the snuggie
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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