Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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