i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize