Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
