PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Randomize