Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
