Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
