the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old