This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
