He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
So many bounce houses so little time
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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