Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
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