who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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