So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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