oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
