Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
