He asked to "fluff my boner.."
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
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