Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
