what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
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Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
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Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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