I need help removing her.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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