he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
