big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
