I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize